One of the main things I wanted to do while in southeast Asia was to go on a meditation retreat. Thanks to monkchat.net I was able to do it on the cheap and for just a short while. Considering I have only meditated during yoga, I was not sure how I would like it. I learned two things on this retreat. One, even though I respect Buddhism it is not for me. Two, it turns out I really enjoy meditating.
Let’s start from the beginning. I signed up for a two day meditation retreat through a university in Chiang Mai, Thailand. I had really no idea what to expect. Upon arrival, there was a short presentation on what the background and goal of Buddhist meditation is. About fifteen people from all over the world were signed up and thankfully most were new to meditation. It was not just me. After the monk finished his session on the basics, we pilled into the back of a covered truck to head to the meditation center.
Upon arrival there are several rules that must be followed. First is the dress code, only lose nonsee-through white clothing. No worries. Since I did not have anything white with me, (that’s just crazy when backpacking) I was able to purchase a set. Phew! Once putting the lovely all white outfit on, I officially looked like a giant marshmallow. But I was not the only one. All together we resembled a bag of marshmallows or the patients at a looney bin, whichever you prefer.
Our outfits
The next rule was silence. For the next 24 hours there was to be absolutely no talking or communicating unless addressing the monk with a question about meditation. Now I’m not what you would call a big talker by any means. The first night was easy not to talk. Laura was my roomie so we knew each others routine. None of that awkwardness of trying to figure out who needs to shower or when to turn out the lights. But for some reason, the next morning of not talking drove me crazy. I understand the point of silence- focusing entirely on yourself, it was just very weird sitting down to a meal and staring at the person across the table with nothing to say. And here I thought this was going to be the easy part of the retreat. I find it so strange how hard of a time I had with it. I suppose it was because everyone was quite, not just me. I’m use to listening a lot and there was nothing to listen to.
Other rules included chanting before meals, no reading (this interferes with the focus on yourself and brings in outside thoughts), same sex roommates even if you are married, and attending the sessions when the gong sounded.
On to the meditation. First let me say there are many different forms of meditation and that we were led in the practice of buddhism. However that does not mean you have to convert or even change your religious views to meditate.
In the five sessions with the monk, we worked through three different postures of meditation, sitting, walking and lying. For me the sitting was easy. I did not find it uncomfortable or even painful to remain in the same cross-legged position for fifteen minutes or more. I also found it natural to stop the flood of thoughts The position is a relaxed one where no pressure or tension is on any part of the body We were told that if we experience pain or uncomfortableness to push through it. Not to give in and move but to remain as we are. “Go to the end of the pain” the monk said. Eventually you would not feel pain any longer. I imagine this posture can be very painful for some. The next position is walking. I defiantly did not like this one, for no other reason than that my eyes had to be open. This allowed me to see what was going on around me and think about that. It was suppose to focus on the movement but I just never got it. And it is natural for one to be easier than another. The last pose, lying, was a cinch. I was use to this one from my years of yoga. Now some did find this one too comfortable and actually fall asleep meditating. To each his own I suppose.
As the time progressed so did the length of meditation. We started with fifteen minutes and then worked our way up to thirty. For me the night session was fun. But the morning session was extremely difficult. This could have something to do with the fact that the gong rang at 5am to summon us to the meditation hall. Now all who know me, knows I am not a morning person, especially before the sun is up. But it was not the tiredness that kept pulling me out of focus. I do not know why I was unable to meditate. Maybe it was too much meditation too fast. For a newbie, it was quite a bit in a short amount of time.
Now there was one session that we were permitted to talk. In a circle, we sat around the monk and chatted about meditation, it’s difficulties, purpose, and different techniques. We were also allowed to ask about Buddhism and his practice. It was an interesting talk and I learned a lot. The most basic way I can describe Buddhism is goodness. Think good, do good, be good. There of course is much more to it and I cannot say I understood everything or even agreed with it. But for me, it was interesting to see where others come from on the religion front.
In general and the main thing I took away with me is that it is just quieting your mind for awhile. Letting go of all the crazy thoughts that swirl around your head every moment. Now let me tell you this sounds much easier than it actually is. You think constantly, it is our nature. Even when you think you are not thinking you are. When you finally reach that moment of pure quiet, you realize that your mind never stops, never rests. Meditation can also be focusing on something specific such as breathing or a sound. I was fortunate enough that it rained during most of the sessions so i had that to focus on. It was a great form of relaxation.
For the monk, meditation is a tool to reach enlightenment. For me that will never happen, it’s not my goal. But I can work towards relaxation and rejuvenation through meditation. And I encourage others to try any form of meditation if for no other reason then to take a few moments to focus only on you and push the rest of the world away for a bit.
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